Garden Walks

When you enter this world ,hold your head high and spread your arms wide. Walk with shoulders back, chest out and a strong gaze. As you grow and learn you are creating the path that you will walk in this journey that is your life. If you walk thru life head down and dragging your feet ,you will create a path that is narrow and dark. If you do not raise your eyes to the sky you will miss the warmth and beauty that is our day. With a strong stride and a positive attitude you will step over the struggles that litter this world. If you don’t look up and you drag your feet you will be trip and stumble on the many small but survivable problems that are routinely in our way. If you choose to live in a land of negativity ,you will grow only weeds and often deter others from walking with you in the garden that is your life. If you hold head high and share smiles people will be drawn to you and they will grow as if you were the sun. Every person has struggles and pain, every garden has weeds and burs. As you prepare to walk thru the garden that is today, smile and walk proud. We are made to survive and endure, flourish and nurture. Choose what you will see and experience in the stroll thru the garden of your life. Plant beauty and joy and people will share it with you.Choose to grow only negativity and depression and you will live in a garden of darkness growing only sadness and loneliness. My coffee finished I head outside shoulders back, strong stride and smile on my face. My garden is open to be shared and enjoyed.Leave your negativity and sadness and walk in the Rose garden that is my world. Be warned ,it is contagious, you might find your self looking up and growing in the warmth of the sun. Side by side I hope you will join me as we pull the dark sad weeds from your garden and plant seedlings of health and happiness…………Land of Rose

Silence

 
Its amazing how quickly the hectic sounds of a house can fade. From teens dressing in the kitchen to head out on their Saturday night plans to the dogs running wild barking and playing. The sounds hold the same volumes that they held when they were children. The difference is the after sound. Hushed voices whispering and the endless excuses to stay up have been replaced with the silence of the night. Now the mothers exhausted breath at the endless trips to their rooms to tell them to go to sleep have been replaced with silence. Now there is only the sound of her own breath. Her breath that quickens with her heart beat every time the sound of an ambulance or police cars sirens rip thru the night air. How many times she had envisioned nights of quiet like this. Long baths, being able to complete a book or even just a page without someone calling to her, needing her. I guess with all the stages of mother hood and childhood there are struggles. As I sit tonight in the silence I ponder if I would trade one for another. I know that in giving them life I have given them morals, intelligence and the common sense to make the right choices. But in this moment, I for just a second would love to hear just one child like voice arguing about bed time, one last story or a drink of water. I however now live in the land of ” night mom see you later”. I miss the children that graced my heart and life. I cherish and admire the teens that scurry in and out of my home. I will adjust and learn to jump a little less when they are not within the safety of my arms. On these silent nights I will myself move forward and embrace the natural growth that now dictates our life. I will enjoy the adults they are becoming though my heart and mind for seconds every evening will feel the warmth that their child hood memories bring to me. So many things that affect a mothers heart. I can’t help but smile as I realize those small hands that used to reach for me now work and care for themselves. That child that once sat on my lap now stands at the door , throwing a kiss and saying “don’t worry mom i won’t be late”. If only it were that simple !!………. Land of Rose

Three Squeezes

Sheltered from the cold winds in their tiny little house he sat holding her hand. So many days and evenings of their life had been spent like this. The house was small, with not nearly enough room for the family they had. He couldn’t help but think that her tiny hands , much like their small house were strong and perfect. To look at both you would wonder how either had the strength to raise a family with love and devotion. As his thoughts traveled thru the years and memories he unconsciously squeezed her hand 3 times. He smiled as he completed the third squeeze, the same smile that covered his face the day he got up the nerve to ask her out. The smile that engulfed them both as she said yes and squeezed his hand 3 times. In the moments of happiness and sadness when words would not do, there would be 3 squeezes. Three squeezes during the birth of all four children. Three squeezes, hands held as the pain tore thru her body bringing their children into the world. No medicine could compare to the unspoken comfort of his hand squeezing hers. Hands held tightly as their daughters adorned their gowns and married their husbands. Three squeezes kept her eyes filled with tears of joy as their children all left and built lives in their own little houses. Those same tiny hands cared for him in their tiny house when he became ill. Caring for him and working two jobs to keep them going. Yet every night no matter how tired, she would squeeze his hand three times and assure him it would be OK. Tonight as he held her hand and relived their life he was happy. There is a warmness and comfort that is found when you can look back on a life lived with love and companionship. Even with a life time of struggles and making ends meet they held together, blessed in in the riches of mutual love and respect. Thru the joys and struggles in life they would squeeze each others hands and say everything that words could not.
Tonight he again squeezed her hand, never had he felt so lonely. Tonight children at her side he had gently kissed her cheek. The beautiful eyes that had adored him for a life time did not open. His heart sank as he squeezed her hand again. A sadness over whelmed him as his daughters cried. For all the years of caring for others she had now fallen ill. Months ago he had squeezed her hand as the doctor said it was only a matter of time. She had squeezed his hand when they told their children and friends. She squeezed tight to his hand as the days grew long and more pain filled.
Tonight he had told her it was okay to go, he knew as he kissed her cheek that she would hold on forever if he asked. With all the strength he had he thanked her for a life time. With tears in his eyes he squeezed her hand 3 more times. In that very moment she took a deep breath, her eyes opened, a tiny smile touched the ends of her lips. He looked into those eyes and saw a light and an undeniable comfort. She squeezed his hand and closed her eyes. He held on for a second and then turned and wiped his tears. He held his daughters and comforted them. In his own heart he had found a bit of the peace he had seen in her eyes. In that moment he felt not only the love of a life time but the comfort that faith brings. As he held his daughters he squeezed each one three times. In each squeeze he felt her love warm him, he knew she had not gone far. He knew her strength and love would see him thru till he once again could give her three squeezes………………Land of Rose barkyroseblog.com

In Life

Never sell your soul nor your integrity.
There is no monetary value that supersedes the truth.

Your reputation is earned through a life time.
Let it not be tarnished unjustly .

Turn not your head nor ear to injustice.
If you turn away ,do you not bear the same guilt
as the perpetrator of the injustice.

No matter how hot the flame, stand for whats right.
Reach out to help those engulfed.
A clear conscious does not run in fear.
Truth shields you from the heat.

Creating thought patterns.
Land of rose barkyrose.blog.org

Truth like clouds

Tonight the fall moon is all but hidden among st the clouds. The beauty of the night is as invigorating as the October breeze that drifts across my skin. A I sit on the porch and search thru the cloud filled sky for even a glimpse of the moon, my mind drifts. Tonight large haunting clouds block the moon light that normally lights my porch. The cloudiness of the fall evening has all but hidden the moon. As is with life, something’s are hard to see thru the clouds. Truth and honesty presented behind the chaos and beauty of life are sometimes hidden. As I sit on the porch, moonlight hidden in the clouds with only the glimmer of my cigarette I realize I must wait. With patience and dedication I will wait and search the sky. Much like truth and honesty the moonlight will appear. If I wait and look I will not only bask in the fall moonlight once the clouds have continued their path past the moon. But I will have searched with dedication and found the truths behind the fog that has presented itself in my reality….
Land of Rose .

March

The sun sets in the chill air of this March night. The cold air dancing outside finds me struggling to use the word spring. Though the current temps lead us to question the “spring is here” statement. The skyline however, screams loudly in what can only be described as a spring sunset. Have you noticed that as spring takes its reign on the sky the winter colors of sunset have too disappeared. Now the sunsets though engulfed in a winters nights air have more color and life. If I may they now carry the colors of Easter and babies rooms. The softest of pinks and blues now wait in the sky line. Soft Easter colors that wait to fade into the darkness of night. It is these colors that make us feel renewed. To see the sun setting into a cotton candy colored sky. A warm tea with the captain as I set on my back porch. Both drink and the comfort of my faded leather jacket keep me warm in the cold air. It is nights like these that naturally draw us to stay up later. Each one of us fighting to surrender the beauty of the day to sleep and darkness. Though my thoughts struggle to think of other things my body soon surrenders to the soft colors of the sunset. The cold air now replaced with the captains touch and the old leather that has shielded me for years. With the last drag of my cigarette I stand to go inside.Tonight I will dream of Easter egg clouds and the spring flowers that will soon adorn my yard. From my window it will look as if it were dressed in the most elaborate of Easter attire. Tonight as I walk inside and lock the door I feel the comfort of my home. I; like the sun have shown with brilliance today. But now I to will fade into my own sunset and dream till morning calls to me from my window. With the good lords blessings I will awake to the rustling of family and the sun in my eyes. Good night friends and loved ones. Stay warm and prepare to wake to the beauty of another spring day ! Land of Rose barkyrose.blog.com

Change

Signs of change, you reach ages or stages in life where you feel settled. You wake to the morning with a comfortable “life”. Whether blessed with the love of person or pet you live each day noting that all is good. This life and moment is all I need. Then you stand on the porch in the spring moon light. As the nights wind dances around, you feel awakened. Is it the newness of the spring air? Is it the guarded relief that winter and its solitary cold has left. Is it the glow off the new moon that sparks a spring nights fire? Options and opportunity’s, when content and happy with things why change? I feel we are beings stimulated and fed by knowledge. Like a spring garden , we must nourish our souls. I struggle to go inside, my grandmother always said” no matter how tired the body. The mind may not let you sleep”. In the moonlight I struggle, regardless of path chosen I want to make a difference. The foot prints we leave should be walking stones for others. I have never been a fan of forks in the road. But as in life sometimes you come to the perpetual version. You reach points in life’s journey where you need to choose your route. Like tonight, I can sit on my porch swing for hours. Though I embrace this nights spring air it will not help me. My thoughts race as so many things run thru my mind. Whats the right choices and in what venue will we cause the most positive impact? Enough, at 50 I should know it will come from the gut. As I put out my cigarette and head inside I look again to the beautiful spring sky. I am now possibly ready to sleep. As with all of life’s choices I will close my eyes and say my nightly prayers. I will thank the lord for what I have and pray for another day to grow.. God bless my friends and good night.. Land of Rose barkyrose.blog.com

Spring/fall

This is one of those nights when I must question the view from my window. If you knew not the day. you would ponder as to if it be spring or fall. I can’t help but admire mother natures sense of humor. From my window the trees stand dark and naked in the moon light. A cool chill air carries small cold rain drops that slip and slide down the side of my van. The porch light reflects two large Christmas candle decorations at the side of the porch. Were it not for the calendar I would question as to if the goal was setting them up for Christmas. The reality being its tearing them down to store thru the months that be spring and summer. Either season, this time of night calls to my sense’s. Quietly I hope the confusing drizzle would show its true spring character and light up the sky with spring storms. How beautiful is the lighting dancing in the sky to the sound of applauding thunder. Even when the thunder shakes the windows and the lighting brightens the room , it brings me peace. In all its oddness I am at my most rested when the world storms and clatters around me. Well that being said I shall retire. As I head inside there is a slight rumble in the distance. I turn to look in hopes of catching the beginnings of an evenings light show. In the darkness I see nothing but soft rolling clouds floating gently around the moon. I to shall retire to the comfort of my room and prepare for sleep. Much like the moon now glowing nestled in its cloud filled bed. As I say my prayers and close my eyes I am thankful. For both the ending of winter, beginning of spring and the beauty that will soon be fall. Bring deep the healing powers of a spring nights air. Hold close to someone you love and God bless………..Land of Rose barkyrose.blog.com

Who cared for her, who made her coffee in the morn. Did anyone take down the toaster and lay out her coffee cup. Something one might ponder, anyone that is but her. In the many mornings of her life it had not been a routine. “Who brought her coffee”, she didn’t realize she was smiling as her grand daughter waited for an answer. Her mind flew back to her childhood. Most morning memories started with the smell of coffee. How odd she thought as her senses caught up to her memory. She could smell , sense and almost live those memories. The oddness though was this. As her memory walked thru those child hood steps she could smell the coffee. Her minds eye looked around the kitchen of memories. The oddness was, that  it was just her. There with chair pushed in front of stove. On tip toe she reached for the old metal pot.
She looked at her grand daughter and smiled. As they entered the kitchen she saw her family was gathered. She walked to the coffee machine and started to fill it. The normal Sunday afternoon conversations continued. With out missing a beat , as was many moments of her life spent, she made coffee. She scuttled to and fro offering the beverage to family and friend. Some where in the back of her mind a smile was triggered, unrealized to herself as she served the coffee.
The morning silence was invaded by the sound of the door opening. She turned over in her bed as the attendant came in. With professional voice the orderly said hello. With assistance she rose from her bed and hurried to shower. Once again a small smile creased her face.” Hurried” has a whole new definition for those that reside in senior care assisted living facility’s. The attendant reminded her to be safe and take her time. As their eyes met they both knew that to be a silly request. They both knew that she would hurry , they knew that it was 20 minutes before her house mates would wake. With hand on her elbow, she walked with the orderly to the kitchen. As in so many days of her life she started the coffee. They would often joke that at her age she had seen the transition of many a coffee machine. In no time the dinning room came alive with the sound of her house mates seeking coffee and breakfast. With aid of walker and or orderly she again sought to serve all that entered.
It had been many years since they had visited, many years since sharing coffee and hugs. Oh she understood, as with many of her house mates their children had their own lives. Many of them had lingered when their spouses journeyed forth. So together her and her housemates shared not only their family memories. They became a family from those memories and the need to be loved.

Today they came; children and grandchildren, cousins and acquaintances. Together they joined to share memories, to talk and reminisce. As is the norm, the choir sang and the minister spoke. There filling in the pews was all those she loved. With an ending prayer and many tears they each stepped up to say a private good bye. Later they all gathered as was the custom. Together they shared food and drink . The hushed conversation of the evening was broken by the sharp tinkling of spoon to glass. The room almost in sequence turned to the source of the sound. There by the glass, spoon in hand stood her now much older granddaughter. She smiled thru tear filled eyes, and  told the group of the question she had asked her grandmother so many years ago. Not many but a few times she had wondered as to the answer. But life’s moments moved quickly and she did not ask again. Now though, she informed them, now she had the answer. She  looked at each table there was food and beverages. Yet no where in the room was there coffee. In mere moments they all journeyed thru their memories. Each memory of the scent of coffee was accompanied by the sound of her voice or scent of her perfume. No one had made the coffee, not tonight and not ever for her. In all the years and all the memories, not a person could recall. Not a memory thru all the stages of her life could family or friend remember any one making her coffee. For a moment there was sadness, then from no where came the over whelming smell of fresh brewed coffee. Though they looked they could not find a source nor any coffee to drink…….   With each journey we leave something, maybe as simple as making coffee or sharing smile.  With each journey,  please don’t let the little things go unnoticed.  Thank those that touch your life, appreciate the smallest gesture and pay  it forward. Don’t let it be said you never offered to make the coffee !! Land of Rose…..

Frozen garden

The smell of baking fills the house, windows cracked the air blows thru carrying the smell of burning leaves. Not a complaint as these are the smells of fall. I have found that fall causes an urge for nesting. There is a point when all creatures of nature prepare for winter. As I walk to the garage I see a scurry of activity in the woods where the yard ends. I open the freezer and tuck in the last of the gardens yield. I smirk as I look out to the yard. There, dancing in the wind are the once beautiful leaves. Once bearing the brilliant colors of summer, they now crinkle as they dance in their costumes of natural brown decay. I though, smirk as I look to the colors that dance within my freezer. The many colored bags of red and yellow tomatoes. A rainbow colored shelf filled merely with a variety of peppers. A few shelves hold apples and fruits. Strawberry’s’ peek out thru a frosted cover and look just as brilliant as the day they left the vine. I close the freezer and head back inside. Today as the weather is more fall than winter I must work on the rest of my baking. Much like the squirrel that reaps the bounty of the woods,I can store up for the winter. I am grateful for my garden, for fall days that I can bake and freeze all the items to see us thru. Chili and spaghetti sauce sit cooling to freeze. A few more items to bake and they to will cool on the counter. In my heart I am proud, the colors and smells of summer will find refuge in our home. I truly believe that if you are blessed with a garden to harvest you should use it all. With two freezers and Gods blessing on our harvest we will relive the senses of summer on many a cold winters night. Gardens emptied and freezer filled, I set on the porch and relax. There is beauty in this season, there is now prepared anticipation for the winter. Enjoy the smells and sounds of fall, bake to warm your home. Rake leaves and absorb the last of falls fresh beauty. Appreciate, embrace and live with nature. The beauty and purpose of the season is endless. Land of Rose WordPress.co