Monthly Archives: March 2014

Garden walk

When you enter this world ,hold your head high and spread your arms wide. Walk with shoulders back, chest out and a strong gaze. As you grow and learn you are creating the path that you will walk in this journey that is your life. If you walk thru life  head down and dragging your feet ,you will create a path that is narrow and dark. If you do not raise your eyes to the sky you will miss the warmth and beauty that is our day. With a strong stride and a positive attitude you will step over the struggles that litter this world. If you don’t look up and you drag your feet you will be trip and stumble on the many small but survivable problems that are routinely in our way. If you choose to live in a land of negativity ,you will grow only weeds and often deter others from walking with you in the garden that is your life. If you hold head high and share smiles people will be drawn to you and they will grow as if you were the sun. Every person has struggles and pain, every garden has weeds and burs. As you prepare to walk thru the garden that is today, smile and walk proud. We are made to survive and endure, flourish and nurture. Choose what you will see and experience in the stroll thru the garden of your life. Plant beauty and joy and people will share it with you.Choose to grow only negativity and depression and you will live in a garden of darkness growing only sadness and loneliness. My coffee finished I head outside shoulders back, strong stride and smile on my face. My garden is open to be shared and enjoyed.Leave your negativity and sadness and walk in the Rose garden that is my world. Be warned ,it is contagious, you might find your self looking up and growing in the warmth of the sun. Side by side I hope you will join me as we pull the dark sad weeds from your garden and plant seedlings of health and happiness…………Land of Rose  barkyrose.blog.com

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Its amazing how quickly the hectic sounds of a house can fade. From teens dressing in the kitchen to head out on their Saturday night plans to the dogs running wild barking and playing. The sounds hold the same volumes that they held when they were children. The difference is the after sound. Hushed voices whispering and the endless excuses to stay up have been replaced with the silence of the night. Now the mothers exhausted breath at the endless trips to their rooms to tell them to go to sleep have been replaced with silence. Now there is only the sound of her own breath. Her breath that quickens with her heart beat every time the sound of an ambulance or police cars sirens rip thru the night air. How many times she had envisioned nights of quiet like this. Long baths, being able to complete a book or even just a page without someone calling to her, needing her. I guess with all the stages of mother hood and childhood there are struggles. As I sit tonight in the silence I ponder if I would trade one for another. I know that in giving them life I have given them morals, intelligence and the common sense to make the right choices. But in this moment, I for just a second would love to hear just one child like voice arguing about bed time, one last story or a drink of water. I however now live in the land of ” night mom see you later”. I miss the children that graced my heart and life. I cherish and admire the teens that scurry in and out of my home. I will adjust and learn to jump a little less when they are not within the safety of my arms. On these silent nights I will myself move forward and embrace the natural growth that now dictates our life. I will enjoy the adults they are becoming though my heart and mind for seconds every evening will feel the warmth that their child hood memories bring to me. So many things that affect a mothers heart. I can’t help but smile as I realize those small hands that used to reach for me now work and care for themselves. That child that once sat on my lap now stands at the door , throwing a kiss and saying “don’t worry mom i won’t be late”. If only it were that simple !!……….Land of Rose

Silence

Pegs

Its ironic that the world has less round holes and more square pegs. Yet we continually try to force the square peg into the hole. The whole is aggravated by the continued attempts to fit the square into the whole. While the whole becomes agitated ,it is blind to the fact that it is damaging the perfectly formed square in its attempts to reform and reconstruct it. Maybe we should accept we can all fit, the world can merge into the uncompleted puzzle of squares and circles. The gaps in between those pieces are the spaces that God left us to fill with growth and understanding. The natural end result should be mutual growth and appreciation of the differences. Never should it be the forced extinction of Gods creations! …Land of Rose

Missing

I miss the childlike anticipation of the holidays. Once I waited up to glimpse Santa, now I am Santa. Once I awoke to open presents with mom and dad, now I call mom on the phone,dad is my angel.I played in the snow yet never got cold, I dreamed of divinity and buckeyes. The whole family came together,I miss once upon a time………..Land of Rose

Mother

A mother cherishes them when they are small, and a hug can cure all their problems. A mother silently cries when they are hurting and you can’t kiss it away!A mother accepts that she is usually wrong, and knows she will be till they acquire children of their own.A mother knows that age and time will steal their innocence as it turns them into adults. A mother will love eternally through all the good and bad choices. You are never alone, as I am always by your side, as you are always a heart beat away from mine! I would not change you for anything!  ….Land of Rose

Yep !!

A cute young lady, in a cute little car cut me off today. I didn’t beep nor throw the finger. Oh, but the finger she gave to me !! And for just a second, well maybe a few seconds I thought… go ahead piss of the 48 year old, fully insured, 40 plus hour a week, mother of 3 teens, whose got more stress than you do blonde hairs !!!!!! Did I mention fully insured !!!! But then the wisdom part of being 48 kicked in. There was no need to seek revenge, I smiled a wrinkled smile as I realized, bitch jokes on you…your 30 years away from being me !!!Land of Rose

Walnuts and Coconuts

Have you ever looked closely at a walnut or coconut? To the naked eye they may seem unattractive. Easily mistaken for something of little or no value if you did not know what they were. Viewing the outer shell closes the mind to the beauty that lays within. What person took the first chance at opening one. Was it accidental or an act of over whelming curiosity? Someone looked beyond what they considered an unattractive shell , took a chance and found something of significance! Something that alone was a meaningful creation with use and purpose. An entity, that when joined with other components became an asset to society. In the world of autism and D.D. you may not understand with your eyes the beauty and creativity before you. Our exterior may be different than most you know. But with positivity and support you could be the one to see beyond the shell. You could be the one to experience the amazing people that live within those labels. In your every day life don’t look away if the shell seems to lack the luster and what you consider beauty. Be brave and let yourself share in the person that is before you, labels and shells aside. As with the person who shared the first walnut or coconut you will find an amazing encounter. You will feel richer and more content. In time you will be thankful for taking a chance and sharing what you found. Look beyond the shell and disability and your life will reap the rewards. ………………………Land of Rose

No labels

One day we will walk in a world where all that is visible is the beauty of our soul. Regardless of physical description we are all works of art. Ignorance is often the guide for the tongues of many. Ignore the mindless statements of those who do not walk in your shoes. You are beautiful by design ,no need to explain or defend!! Land of Rose

Winters cactus

As I close up the house for the night I embrace the chill night air that looms outside my door. There is a mist that blankets the sky, dark and black held in the coldness of a winters night. I turn to walk to bed and can’t help but smile. My eyes can’t help but look to the window sill as I turn my clocks a head. Spring forward they say, to some, unimaginable as they look out upon the snow covered yards. To many, the winters cold and darkness bring despair. If only those saddened by winters grip could look as I do thru my little window. For there on my sill is my winters cactus. For all the harshness mother nature bestowed on us this year she has offered a sign of beauty and hope. There in all her glory sits my cactus. Not one or two but 8 blooms dance in the moon light that shines thru the darkness into my window. Life has many seasons, some bring joy and some bring struggles. The beauty though is there , yours to see if you choose to look for it. It is easy to succumb to the cold brutal winds of the winters despair. But if you choose you can look at the snow and ice as if it were a background for the beauty that will soon spring forward. Like my cactus and also the violets that adorn my sill they have looked past the snow and cold. They have flourished in the sunshine that found its way to them. In that winters sunshine they have bloomed with the colors of the impending spring. As I turn off the last light and slip into to bed I to have chosen to flourish. I will shake of the dismal effects of the winters day and spring forward with my clock into the beauty that will become spring……Land of Rose

Painfully

We are seldom affected if its a stranger that hurts us. Sometimes the depth of the hurt is in recognition of just how much they matter to us! That being said, if they mean enough to hurt you, then they should mean enough to accept the honesty in the pain they have caused and rectify it!!……….. Land of Rose…..