Its amazing how quickly the hectic sounds of a house can fade. From teens dressing in the kitchen to head out on their Saturday night plans to the dogs running wild barking and playing. The sounds hold the same volumes that they held when they were children. The difference is the after sound. Hushed voices whispering and the endless excuses to stay up have been replaced with the silence of the night. Now the mothers exhausted breath at the endless trips to their rooms to tell them to go to sleep have been replaced with silence. Now there is only the sound of her own breath. Her breath that quickens with her heart beat every time the sound of an ambulance or police cars sirens rip thru the night air. How many times she had envisioned nights of quiet like this. Long baths, being able to complete a book or even just a page without someone calling to her, needing her. I guess with all the stages of mother hood and childhood there are struggles. As I sit tonight in the silence I ponder if I would trade one for another. I know that in giving them life I have given them morals, intelligence and the common sense to make the right choices. But in this moment, I for just a second would love to hear just one child like voice arguing about bed time, one last story or a drink of water. I however now live in the land of ” night mom see you later”. I miss the children that graced my heart and life. I cherish and admire the teens that scurry in and out of my home. I will adjust and learn to jump a little less when they are not within the safety of my arms. On these silent nights I will myself move forward and embrace the natural growth that now dictates our life. I will enjoy the adults they are becoming though my heart and mind for seconds every evening will feel the warmth that their child hood memories bring to me. So many things that affect a mothers heart. I can’t help but smile as I realize those small hands that used to reach for me now work and care for themselves. That child that once sat on my lap now stands at the door , throwing a kiss and saying “don’t worry mom i won’t be late”. If only it were that simple !!……….Land of Rose



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